SMS CAUSE MISUNDERSTANDING IN FRIENDSHIPS.
Good day to you. I am a visually impaired writer. I don't mind to be call and known as an anonymous. I am fine with that nickname. I am back again with the second article. This time, I am going to share my life experience in friendships. Wou! Such a deep meaning right? What is friendships to you? I certainly know all of you may have a different interpretation about the meaning of the word "friendships." As for me, the word "friendships" means everlasting and forever we are friend. In order for the friendships to establish in life, both human beings must have a united hard and understanding about the reason and purpose in friendships. Well, no right and no wrong. Oh! Just a joke. I have a life story to share in this article. As you have read the above title about the SMS CAUSE MISUNDERSTANDING IN FRIENDSHIPS, I have a few questions for you to ponder. These questions may sound funny to you. Maybe, you may laugh about it too. However, I just want to open your mind and think about all this questions.
Can SMS cause misunderstanding in friendship?
Can SMS cause divorce in marriage lives?
Can the words from our mouth cause danger to another human beings?
Why many people choose not to understand and doubt about the friendships that I choose to create in their lives?
Ok, enough. I hope all these questions will not drives your mind away from reading my life experience in establishing friendships in my life. I have many more stories to share in this article. However, I am going to share just one life experience, which makes the husband of my friend have a jealous heart and misunderstanding. This incident started when my former working colleague send a SMS to me. Before I proceed, let me elaborate further about my friend. Her name is Ms. VL, who stays in Wangsa Maju. She was working with me as a credit administration clerk in Lion Property at Menara Citibank Jalan Ampang before she left to work for another company at Taman Keramat last year. She is a very nice and friendly person. She even gave me her addresses and contact number for me to keep in touch with her whenever I am free. Well, all started seems look so good at the beginning. However, as the friendship goes on, her husband came into the picture and started to misunderstand her for talking to me. He also misunderstood me as well and scolded me using the vulgar words and sentences towards me on the phone. One of the examples was one Thursday night; she was reading the newspaper to me over the phone. As she read, she felt uncomfortable because her husband was mad at her just because she was reading newspaper to me and murmuring there wasn't enough time for him. Finally, she put down the phone. In between few minutes, her husband gave me a call on my hand phone and out of the sudden, he shouted at me like this:
"Hello! Are you E?"
I answered, "Yes sir, what can I do for you?"
He shouted, "For heaven sake, please don't ever disturb or call my wife anymore."
Before I managed to answer him, he slams the phone receiver. I felt uncomfortable with the situation and I gave her a call. I told her about her husband's attitude and behavior was very arrogant and rude. My intention was to establish a good friendship and talk to her. However, he misunderstood me. She knew I was very hurt and she apologize on be half of her husband. She told me he was very frustrated with his work and he threw all his anger towards me. I just wonder how come this incident can happen in their marriage lives? Hmmm! I guess it is because nobody to entertain and talk to him. As the results, he threw all his frustration and anger against me during that night. After I got all the explanation from her, I put down the phone and in between one hour later, her husband called me again. When I pick up the phone, I heard his voice like quite panic. I asked him, "What do you want from me, sir?"
He answered, "E, sorry for what I have done to you just now. I really don't mean that way. I was frustrated with my job in the office."
My answer to him was: "Is okay sir, forget it. What is pass and done, is done."
Hmmm! That is how human beings behaving in this world. After they felt guilty, they wanted to ask for forgiveness and hoping that the problem and case is closed. I have a doubt and question. If he keeps on followed his emotion and feelings, how long can his wife adopt and tolerate to his lifestyle? I really felt funny and strange. I also believe she was tortured by her husband at home even before this incident occurred. Her husband may not like if any of her friends calling her out for fellowships and gathering meetings. From my passed experience and some of the information that I have about her husband, he was not open to other relationships. He doesn't trust and doubting her wife almost everyday. He only knew how to think about his own interest in life. If all the man is behaving like that, I guess there will be quite difficult to establish a good and open relationship with other people. Do you agreed with me? Whether you agreed or disagreed with me, this phenomenon has happened in lives. Well! Whatever it is, let it be and I did not contact her for quite sometime after the incident. I knew it well. If I call her again, the misunderstanding might occur again in their marriage lives. She has caution me to be careful and warn that in order for the problem not to arise again, don't ever call her at home during nighttime. If I call her, her husband might get mad at her again. She will SMS or call me so that the problem will not arise again. She will still be my friend although we have a less conversation. I accepted her request. Well! Quite true. She is so open to the friendships. Strange and funny. How come? I am just her friend. Why all this misunderstanding can happen? Hmmm! SMS CAUSE MISUNDERSTANDING IN FRIENDSHIP. What a funny things happening in this world and the society. However, no question about it because it has happened to me. I am quite sure is not only happen to me but to others as well. One of the examples who faced the same problem as me was my best visually impaired friend, Mr. Allan Wong. Hmmm! As long we are human beings, many challenges and hurdles are in front of us. It depends whether are we able to face the nature of the world. We will be able to face the challenges if we continue to be strong, patient, have an iron will, determination and perseverance.
Well, that was one of the examples and incident that happened to me before this incident. Okay, back to the topic above. How the misunderstanding and frustration happen? It was on one Sunday night, 22nd August 2004, 2145 PM (GMT time), she send a SMS to me. It wrote like this:
Life ends when you stop dreaming, hope ends when you stop believing, &% love ends when you stop caring. So, dream, believe &% care. Life is beautiful.! VL.
As soon as I got that SMS, I replied to her and it wrote like this:
Hi, thanks for the message. You are the light of the world. God bless you. See you again. Thanks.
I felt so happy when she sent that encouraging message for me. That shows how caring she is towards me as a friend. I felt happy too whenever I managed to reply her SMS. However, one day after I replied her SMS, I never expected I might get a call from an anonymous. It was at 0131. During that time, I was engage on the line with Mr. A. In between our conversation, I was listening and watching to the Olympic life telecast on RTM TV1. Hah! Who is that calling me so early in the morning? I pick up the phone and it goes like this:
"Good morning, can I help you?"
The voice replied, "Hello, I am Mr. O. I would like to congratulate you for able to break and make both of us divorce."
I got a shock in my life. Hah! Who is this man? Have I done something wrong until this incident happened to this man? However, I replied with fear and panic voice,
"Hah! What is that?"
Before I managed to continue the conversation, he scolded me with vulgar words and slam the phone reciever. I got panic and my best friend was on the other line at the same time. My discussion with my friend on the other line was interrupted just because of this man. We were discussing about our future and contribution as a visually impaired person in Malaysia. He could hear the conversation between us because I put on my hand phone speaker. After the whole conversation with that man was over, my friend asked me what was actually wrong and happened in between Mr. O and me. I got panic and I just don't have any words or sentences to describe the whole incident because I really don't know what I have done to this man until he got mad and threw his anger towards me. However, I believed that 100% is possible, 100% of the time. Finally, I told Mr. A about it. I don't even know who is this man that has rang me so early in the morning. My impression was maybe, this man got nothing to do and he tried to provoke my anger and find fault with me. I don't even know him and what he wants from me during that time. How come and which corner of the earth he came from? Whatever it is, after I finished the story, I asked Mr. A for support. He suggested me to write a SMS to this man and asked him what has actually went wrong until he scolded me with the vulgar words. Within a few minutes, I tried to take the risk to call him. I even tried to use my house phone to call him few times but he refused to pick up my calls. Once again, I don't know what to do in this situation. I really need an answer from this man. What have I done until their marriage divorce? Another question in my mind was whether their marriage divorce because of me or he purposely don't allow me to call V because of his jealousy? I consult Mr. A again. He asked me to write a first SMS to Mr. O. At the same time, my thought was since he refused to pick up my phone calls, the next option was taking the risk to SMS him, hoping he will answer all my doubt and questions that was on my mind. So, Mr. A guided me to write like this:
Hi, who are you and what is going on here?
Within a few minutes, he replied my first SMS and his first message to me was like this:
Hi, who are you? What is going on here? Ur lover V's husband. Congrates. You managed to make us divorce. You really so good lah>
Hah! Congrates. I managed to make them divorce. What have I done and who is this? Ur lover V's husband. Which V is this? I have so many friends by that name in my address listing. Strange, funny and so arrogant. He already knew about me and yet he purposely posted that question again. He really makes me frustrated and angry. Without much further ado, I answered his first SMS and in my second message to him, it goes like this:
Can you let me know her surname? I really need to know what is going on here. Sorry for causing this incident happens.
Ten minutes later, he replied my second SMS and the message was like this:
I am the person you are desperate to meet. Sorry for what? I am just wondering if you are blind? How can you SMS with me? Anyway, thank you for the divorce cake.
Oh! Again. Why he wrote like this? Who is desperate now? The answer that I wanted from him was about V's surname. I do remember during the first misunderstanding incident with VL's husband. He did asked for apology after he bluss his anger towards me. Oh! It happened again this time. It was during early in the morning. People are sleeping and in the dreaming mood. How come he wanted to get angry with me during this hour? The time was 0145 on Tuesday morning, 24th August 2004. Another question was about he doubting a visually impaired person is able to handle the hand phone and SMS messages. Strange and funny again. His statement really makes me laugh. When I told Mr. Allan about how he replied my second SMS, he was laughing too. The conclusion from him was those people has sight doesn't mean they knew the new technology in this world which enables the visually impaired people to use computer and read the SMS from the latest Nokia hand phone. The scientist in this world has invented a computer talks soft wear, which all the visually impaired person can make used of it in the latest world technology, especially for some models of the Nokia hand phone version. I was quite fortunate because I have the latest Nokia 6600 hand phone, which I can use to read all the incoming and outgoing calls, SMS and etc. That's the reason how I can reply all his SMS within a short period of time. The scientist in this world has demonstrated this distinction in life, which is 100% is possible, 100% of the time. Hmmm! Funny yet is true. I asked for Mr. A's support again how to reply Mr. O's second SMS. I really frustrated and mad about how he posted his question in his second SMS. He has the eyesight yet his action seems like another visually impaired person. What is his intention for writing or acknowledge me by quoting "Thanks for the divorce cake?" I tried to understand his statement but I was not able to handle it. However, threw Mr. A's support again, I replied his second SMS and my third SMS to Mr. O was like this:
Well, it is not a matter how a visually impaired person can reply your message. I would appreciate if you can tell me what is actually went wrong in your relationship with V, which cause you to divorce with her? Why are you putting me into trouble? You should love and trust your wife before you put the blame on others. If you love and trust your wife, this problem may not happen.
Ten minutes after I replied his message, his third SMS came and it wrote like this:
It is been a wonderful marriage before you do all the devil. How many devil have you done, devil? Bye forever and have a good devil dream.
Hmmm! Oh my God! Good marriage. I just wonder if he has a good marriage with V. How come this incident can happen in his life? He seems like a small child asking such questions. Hmmm! Like a small child seeking for attention! Sorry for quoting that. What is his intention of quoting all these questions? I don't meant to look down at his ability to love and care for her. However, that's how I felt about him. I think he purposely wanted to makes me frustrated and angry. Look! How he replied and wrote his third SMS for me? Hah! (Arrogant and Proud). Well-done for him. I salute him for writing that way. However, that was not the way of solving the issue. When I told Mr. A about how he quoted me as "devil", he felt strange and funny. The conclusion from Mr. A was he couldn't take the pressure in his life. He only think and have an interest for himself. He doesn't care about others. Hmmm! Done is done. Hah! How many devils have I done, devil? Bye forever and have a wonderful devil dream. I really don't know why he wrote that way. My conclusion was he was mad and angry because he seems not able to handle his life well enough. In fact, V seems to be able to handle her lives well. If he can handle the situation well enough, the incident might not occur at all in his lives. Maybe, whatever fix believes that he/she has among each other can be lower down below the water line. Well, allow me to go off track from the story. I just like to quote one of the examples in life. Let's take a look at the example in between our fix believes, iceberg and the water. Our fix believes in our lives is always 90% above the water line. That's very normal in our human nature. If the fix believes that we have in our lives can be lower down below the water line (that means as low as possible), every problems, situation and challenges in life may be able to overcome. In another meaning, we can leave the situation better off by tolerate and understanding each other in a better way.
Okay, enough examples? Let's get back to the story. After I read his third SMS, I replied his message and my fourth SMS goes like this:
Okay, I just wanted to know. Why you think every person that has a friendship with your beloved wife is devil? Why your mind is so narrow? I am blind. Yes! It is true. However, I sense your heart is more impaired and terrible than me. Think back what are the cause and responsible that you have for every human beings.
After I replied his third message, his fourth SMS came at 0230. I really can't understand this SMS and he wrote like this:
Because of you, devil. Please remember that is always a cause and effect.
Hah! Because of me and he quoted me as "devil" again. Please remember that is always a cause and effect. What is this message? What have I done until he bluss out his anger towards me? I just wonder what he was trying to do early in the morning. I had heart feelings to send all her husband's vulgar SMS to V. However, before I do that, I managed to control my emotion and feelings. I certainly know if I followed my heart's desire and feelings to send all her husband's vulgar SMS to V, what will happen to my friendship with her? I consult Mr. A's support again. After I got his support, I wrote my fourth SMS for Mr. O and my reply was like this:
Sir, are you having unsolved problem and you keep on blaming others whenever you fail in your life? Once again, before you look for trouble, please check yourself and your life first. At the same time, check where is it gone wrong. Please don't bluss your anger unnecessary towards other people.
Hah! Enough with the SMS. I have written four SMS to him. At the same time, he responded to all my SMS as well. I predicted another SMS from him might be reaching my phone in the morning. Anyway, I am happy because he might not have the answer to my fourth SMS. If happened he has the answer, he might take quite a while to answer me. I have thrown and given up all my energy towards Mr. O. He seems doesn't understand the whole situation and simply bluss out his anger without investigating the cause and reasons. According to Mr. A (who has been supporting me to solve the whole situation all night long), I have done what I can in this explanation. He refused to open up himself to the possibilities and fax in life. Her wife is open to every friendship. Why he seems doesn't understand and behave like a mad dog barking to their enemy? He just bluss out his anger like nobody business without thinking what will he cause for another human beings. All is over and done is done. The last solution I could do next was to call VL. I wish to know why her husband behaving like a mad person and simply scolded me like nobody business during early in the morning. It was 0255. At that time, that was the only way to find out why is it so many incidents happen in their marriage lives. I also wish to know whether are both of them really divorce because of me. I felt bad if their divorce cake was cause by my calls and SMS. I still need to find out the cause of their divorce. I don't feel nice to give V a call so early in the morning, knowing that she was still sleeping at that time. However, I felt stretch and I can't sleep just because of the whole incident. My mind was unstable because of Mr. O. He was the whole cause of it. I consult Mr. A again. He gave his opinion that makes me comfortable to give V a call. He also assumes that V was not with her husband anymore. Okay! Find with that situation. Without much further ado, I rang her just to find out the truth picture. Well, life is an enrollment game and 100% is possible, 100% of the time again. After a few minutes of conversation with her, I managed to find out about the whole situation in her family and what is the main cause her husband got mad at me. As I have wrote earlier, it was just because of the SMS CAUSE MISUNDERSTANDING IN FRIENDSHIPS. It also cause misunderstanding in their personal and marriage lives. Hmmm! I just replied her SMS and within the short period of time, the situation in their family and marriage became worsen. Another thing that I managed to found out from her was after I replied her message, her husband saw my name and number on her hand phone. He got mad and finally, he quarrel with her. Her husband was jealous with her because she has too many good friends around her. As the results of all her relationships that she created with all her friends, she has been invited to many gatherings and fellowship meetings. That's why the misunderstanding occurred in their family lives. Hmmm! Invitation to go out for so many friends gathering, working, enjoying lives (such as playing games and tourism) are normal in life. Oh! I have even told her about how her husband behaving seems like a mad dog whenever he tried to handle the whole situation. He claimed and admitted he seems to know so many things in this lives. However, my experience of him was not true. If he knows and can handle so many things in life, why divorce case still happen to their marriage lives? In another words, maybe he was too protective over his beloved wife. Hmmm! Although I have told her about that, what can she do? Oh! No answer from her and as a conclusion to the whole conversation, she asked me not to think so much about the whole incident because her husband's attitude are rather bad. He doesn't like others to disturb her privacy although she likes to have fellowship with all her friends. Well, no right and no wrong again. As soon as I got the answer, I felt relieved. I put down the phone and I end my conversation with Mr. A as well. Hmmm! Quite long I was engaged on the phone with my best friend just to get his support to solve this SMS problem. Whatever it is, is okay because I got my result, which is to solve the problem. At last, I was able to sleep for a few hours until 0755.
However, after I woke up at 0800, I found another SMS on my hand phone. Oh! Who is that sending me message so early in the morning? Hmmm! Maybe is Mr. O again. My prediction was correct. How come I know? Well, his phone number and SMS appeared on my hand phone screen. Oh! I got a shock. It is his fifth SMS. If it is from him, I will not going to reply or accept the entire messages. Let it be a junk message. Let him do whatever he desires to do. He will realize that he is wasting his effort and energy. Well, let me check what he got to write this time. Is it a vulgar word again? Never mine! Is okay! Not my phone bill anyway. I will read it and let's see who is the sender.
I have never lost before. But, I have lost my marriage to you. I salute you, E. Don't SMS or call me again. Wish the God will punished the devil.
Oh! What can I do this time around? Really Mr. O's fifth SMS (as what I predicted earlier). Very frustrating and hurting. He quoted "I have never lost before. But, I have lost my marriage to you." Hmmm! He lost his marriage to me. Apart of talking and sending SMS to V, how can I take away the marriage life from him if V's heart is for him? Funny man! What is he trying to do? He put the blame on me again. Jealousy, envy, anger, frustration, disturbance, unconscious mind and etc. I really don't know what to describe about this man. Why he wanted to salute me? He also requested me not to send any SMS and call him again. He also wish the God will punish the devil. Oh! He still quoted me as "devil"! Why is he so judgmental towards me? God knows what is actually going on. Let God be the center of this incident. I believe God will bless those who are faithful and sincere in their lives. Hah! I rather forget the whole incident. Okay! I grant his request and will not call his wife unnecessary too. This man really sucking my energy. Hmmm! Okay, enough is enough. The more I think about it, the more frustrated I will be. I will just forgive and forget the whole things and start a new chapter in my life again. Mr. O is just a normal human being. Why must I afraid of him? He has his own breakdown in his life. Every human have his/her breakdown too. Well, is okay. Let it be. He is a matured man. Let him handle his families and his marriage on his own feet. I can't help him if he chooses to victimize himself in the box. As far as I concern, I have not done or committed any wrongdoing in establishing my friendship with V. She chooses to allow me to have her address and contacts. In fact, I thank and acknowledge her for telling me the truth what was actually wrong and going on in her family's lives and marriages. Okay, over is over. Enough is enough. I have forgiven her and our friendship has been install as usual. That's the beauty part although this incident happened to me. However, the bad part of the friendship was the whole family's phone number has changed. One of the possibility they change their number is they may not wanted me to have any contact with Ms. V again. Maybe I am right or maybe, I am wrong. Whatever it is, is their choice and I can't stop them from doing that. Whether I have more or less friends, my life still goes on as usual. That is the beauty part of life. God is love, joy, peace, patient, kind, good, gentle, faithful and self-control. If all of us can be like that, how nice and good the world is to leave. Am I right? Well! Just ponder and think about it.
As the conclusion, I would like to share with you what is the lesson that I have learned from this incident. The lesson is to be careful and check the words before I sent my tax message to the opposite sex. All things that happened to me have teaches me to be come more loving and patient to overcome all the challenges and hurdles in life. I would like to remind you again. If you are not careful enough, the words that you use in the SMS or your conversation in lives may harm the other party. It may cause misunderstand again. Well, is not wrong to send a tax message to your loves one. In fact, I encourage you to do it. However, just take precaution. Do take heat to my advice. If this incident happen to you, is just too bad. You are the one that can cause the incident to happen. It is better to prevent it from happen before it is really too late to handle it. Do the action before it is too late. There is a statement that I would like to share with you, which is prevention is better than cured. For those of you who are in the relationship, be careful with your life partner. Do not hurt their heart by using the vulgar words and do handle them with love and patient. Anyway, if you get mad and angry just because of the SMS or other small issues will not be able to resolve the whole situation. If you want to get angry or plan to throw out your anger towards the others, think twice before you do it. Love your partner as how you love yourself. There is a verse in the bible that I would like to share with you as I end this article:
There is hope, faith and love. However, the greatest things of all are love.
God bless you richly and abundantly. Happy reading.
